I have a stalker. He knows exactly at what time I wake up, what time I take my early morning cup of coffee, time I leave for office, come back, sleep, people I speak to, not speak to and everything else there is to know about me. This person has most minute details of my activities and keeps a log of everything I do. Yes, he practically knows everything I do, my likes, my dislikes and sometimes knows it better than me.
So would you like being stalked? Just think well before you read further.
Most of you would have thought “what kind of question is this? Obviously I would not like it. Only a person who is out of his mind would like being stalked”
Now go back to your phone and check your call/message log. Scroll it and what do you see?
A name appears way too frequently (if you have not deleted your call log), maybe 10-15 times’ day and mind you this is just your call log. Apart from call, this person is constantly in touch with you on Whatsapp, FB, Instagram, twitter and all the social sites you are registered on. He literally follows you around and likes everything you do. Alert – YOU ARE IN LOVE!!!
So it’s time to ask again – do you like being stalked? If you have answered “no” earlier, think again. Your answer might change to “It depends on the person, who is stalking me” or “Come on he is love of my life and he is not stalking me I just like to tell him everything” think again.
A wise man once said
“Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it”
Does it hold true even today?
I was having a conversation with a friend of mine and he narrated me his love story.
Flashback 15 years ago:
This is the age when there were no cell phones. People kept in touch by writing letters, sending postcards and making call on landlines, which were a bit expensive. I immediately asked my friend how you managed to stay in touch with your fiancée (now his wife)? This is what he told me:
“Our first meeting was for 10 minutes and it was love at first sight. I immediately knew that she is ‘The One’ and agreed for wedding. Post that meeting, I came back to Mumbai for work and we met only 2 months later. In the period of two months we hardly ever spoke. The conversation usually happened in night, when the calls were cheaper, I used to run to the nearest telephone booth to talk to her and we would chat for 10-15 minutes max, as that was what, I could afford (The call rate was costly as I told you earlier).”
He told me about his first meeting. How eagerly he waited to see her again and how listening to her voice in the night was a luxury he could not afford to lose. He blushed as he spoke.
Let’s come back to 2015:
Thanks to technology, our partner is with us 24X7. You never have a chance of missing your loved one because he/she is just a phone call away. It is easy to stay connected.
In initial phase of relationship, everyone is glued to their cell phones, talking to their partners for long hours. I always wondered “what do they talk about?” Imagine if you are on call with the same person the entire time, then you never have time to make stories of your own and then there would come a phase when there is nothing to talk about. This is when people complain that “There is no spark left in the relationship or he/she is not the same anymore”
Till date I believed, better connection meant better understanding. But now I observe that this has lead to fights, frustrations and eventually break-ups.
Though I am not an expert in matter of love, I feel here are the few things that people do wrong when they get into a relationship these days:
- Talking too much: I am not saying you should not talk but agree on a time, that you will spare out for each other every day. This is your “special time” when nobody disturbs you and you can completely concentrate on each other. Also plan activities & outing together.
- Not being flexible: Now that you have fixed a time, don’t be too rigid about it. There might be times when he/she misses a call or two. It might be that he/she is busy and couldn’t call you. Be understanding. Also there might be times when you need an urgent advice on some issue or you just feel like talking to him/her. Go ahead make that call. Surprises are good. But don’t let it be too frequent.
- Not having a life of your own: I know when you are in love, your life kind off revolves around the other person. But go ahead have your own life. You should always have your own group of friends, your own travel plans, your own hobbies, your own “ME” time where your partner is not involved. It is good to have your own identity. It will make you more confident and strengthen your love in many ways.
- Making decision for your partner: Do not rule their life. Be their support system and not their guide. It is okay to fall sometimes. It is how they would learn and as the famous dialogue from Batman goes “Why do we fall, so we can learn to pick ourselves up.”Give them their time. Yes they will commit mistakes but it will make them better. Be their support system, it will bring the two of you closer.
- Not respecting and complimenting your partner: It is very important that you respect each other and always praise your partner for that special extra they put in relationship (and not just on facebook, please!!). It will help them be a better person and they would love you for what you are too.
- Leaving out friends: Yes, friends are very important part of your life. Never ever ignore your friends just because you found your soul mate. Plan outing with friends, as much as you can. Like that, you never lose your support system. After all, he/she is the one who knows you in and out and would help you solve the fights with your partner.